May 18, 2021Liked by Angie Piccirillo

I was set up on a blind date by a coworker. I was told how great this guy was and I was excited about the possibility. He had me meet him at a bar. He was cute but then he only talked about himself. Like he talked about his job and how much money he made. He talked about how much money he wanted to make before he retired, which of course was going to be early. Somehow, I ended up paying even though this guy was supposed to be a baller. I later found out that many of his dates have paid probably to get out of being around him.

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I've been fortunate enough to not have too many bad dates, at least in the grand scheme of bad dates but here are two:

Date #1

I meet up with a girl at a pool hall/brewery. I thought shooting pool would be a good icebreaker but for half an hour, I was basically interrogating her and she'd only give one-word answers.

We stop and just sit at the bar and the conversation gets going, but it's very superficial. We start talking about gory movies, and I admit I'm a bit squeamish when watching them. She responds by getting off of her stool, turning around, lifting her blouse up, and showing me her scoliosis surgery scars. Then she scrolls through her iPhone to show me pre-surgery X-rays of her back looking like a large pretzel.

I ask why she is showing me this and she leans in and says, "You're gonna have to get used to it." I closed my tab, left the bar, and never spoke to her again.

Date #2

I'm sure women can relate to this sentiment: You know when a guy, no matter how nice he could be, just has a super creepy and awkward demeanor and just can't help it? Well, this woman had the female equivalent of that.

She's sitting at a table, arms crossed with a deadpan facial expression, and I approach her. There was no flow to the conversation, and it would end abruptly at any random moment until I'd jumpstart it with banal questions like, "Do you like your job?" or, "What are your hobbies?" UGH.

After the third or fourth time this happens, I determine that I've been carrying the load of this conversation, so the next time an awkward pause happens, I'll let her put in some work. The dialogue stops and we just sat there in complete silence for five minutes--I was watching golf on the TV behind her and I hate golf--until a waiter asks if we want another drink. She deliberates and says she really wants to but she's also tired and still hungover because she was out drinking with her friends until 4 a.m. the night before.

I conclude this is either 1) an excuse to get out of this date or 2) her being inconsiderate of my time by agreeing to go on a date knowing she was too much of a zombie to be a functional adult. Either way, I didn't want to spend any more time with her. I told her she should get some rest, and I left.

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May 12, 2021Liked by Angie Piccirillo

I matched with a guy on Tinder about 5 years ago and we went on a date and a group of Bocce ball players came in to the bar we were at. Their group consisted of some Little People he proceeded to tell he was “deathly afraid of Little People and needed to move tables or leave” because he felt so uncomfortable and afraid. The words “attacked” and “shifty” were also used in his his description of why he didn’t like LP’s. I told him we could move tables and asked him to carry my drink and food to the table he wanted to sit at and promptly gtfo of there. He blew up my phone with texts and voicemails about how I was being “intolerant to his phobia”. BOY BYE.

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May 11, 2021Liked by Angie Piccirillo

I met this guy online and we had a great first and second date! Like great great. On the third date, I felt something was wrong from the very beginning. He was being very serious and not laughing at any of my jokes. I tried sooo hard to get him to loosen up. I wasn’t sure if he was just having a rough day or if something was genuinely wrong. But like…he was with me! His day should’ve gotten better already! Anyway, I finally asked him if something was wrong and he snapped! He said, “I can never have a serious moment with you!” I was shocked, to say the least. He went on and on about how I was always being sarcastic and had something smart to say. He kept repeating that he just wanted a “serious” moment with me. Mind you, I’m pretty chill and calm ALL the time, even when I’m dishing out sarcasm and jokes. During our first date, he had said he’d never met a girl as smart and funny as me…right?! So confusing!!!! I tried to calm him down and eventually told him it was time for me to leave, in which his response was, “I’m just trying to have a serious moment with you!” IT WAS OUR THIRD DATE! Uh no thanks. Bye. & That’s why we don’t date boys from Jersey.

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May 11, 2021Liked by Angie Piccirillo

There are so many as a thirties single gal. It's so hard to pick one out of so many mortifying dates. It was in the early stages of online dating (yes I'm that old) there was a guy that responded to my post stating he was a biker and a model. After a brief conversation, we decided that we should meet. Not because he was a model but because he was determined for me to give him a shot. Regrettably, our meeting was at my favorite watering hole. I should have asked more questions! When he said a biker he meant a bicycle cyclist. He showed up in extremely see-through white biking shorts that were sooooo tight that left nothing to the imagination. Not in a good way either because what I saw did not tempt me whatsoever. The jokes that I heard from my friends at the bar did not end for weeks. As he did not want to sit the entire time and everyone saw everything and I mean everything. Not that avoiding seeing everything was an option. Not only that mortifying exhibition show of his junk, he also expected me to drop him off after the date. Luckily I did not drive there and that was my out. He also forgot his wallet and was hungry after a 20 mile ride that I also picked up the tab for.

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I found a gorgeous gentleman with seemingly impeccable style on Tinder a few years back. In hindsight, this could have been a sign...

We decided to meet at a bar where the first red flag was suddenly thrust upon me... he brought his friend (he brought his friend?!). Fine, okay, maybe he was nervous. So we're sitting at our table and a group of slightly noisy friends sits next to us. He and I begin getting to know each other with the odd comment from the peanut gallery (his friend and also the group next to us). To be honest, as we talked more, I thought he might be gay, which of course, I don't have a problem with.... but that would have provided some pretty serious roadblocks in our budding relationship...

After a few drinks, we somehow ending up talking about his coat - which was fabulous - and I joked that it would look better on me. It was pretty feminine after all and gender bending fashion was quite as hot on the scene at this time - it was a daring fashion move on his part. He got really defensive and started hating on my "style" and ranting on about how much better his was. At this point, a woman from the neighbor group starts defending me (loudly and very much appreciated). In fact, the whole group started getting involved in the conversation and I fled to the bathroom for a moment of relief.

The woman who rushed to my defense followed me in, told me how if she was on a date with me, she would cherish and celebrate me instead. We ended up making out furiously for a few moments before returning to the table.

Whilst I was engaging in a stolen tryst with my valiant knightess in shining honor, apparently the argument between my date and the group got out of control. We returned to the table to find my date and his friend (boyfriend?) screaming at the group and vice versa, an absolute scene. Upon my return, my date starts yelling at ME to defend him. "You're really going to let them talk to me like that?! Why are you just standing there?!"

I simply stated we did not know each other well enough and we certainly weren't hitting it off in a way that made me feel like coming to his rescue. He balked at my rejection, stood up, fastened his fabulous coat around himself with the flair of a fashionista flaunting a new cape, and stormed out the door - friend/potential lover in his wake.

The friend group cheered.

The date with HIM, was the worst date ever. But did I have a wonderful evening with my new friends and lady lover? Yes I did.

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He got angry right away because my ancestors ( Dakota Indians) had murdered his ancestors (Swedish homesteaders) in Minnesota 160 years ago, although there was a lot more to that story. He also wouldn't let me eat off his plate.

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